Did you ever see a product other than breakfast cereal or a board game that said on the label, 'Great for General Use by Anyone Of ANY AGE?'

Or a subatnce other than nitrogylcerine for which the directions DO NOT say to 'Shake Well Before Using?

I'm not concerned here with those wonder medicines rapturously advertised on television that remind viewers, after the individual sufferer is pictured rising from a sickbed to play beach volleyball that (in rare cases) the medicine can cause side effects including loss of limbs, seizures, liver tumors, dizziness, fevers, joint pain, swelling, hair growth on the palms, a sinking feeling, the urge to laugh at old Warner Brothers cartoons, flu, vomiting, uncontrolled bleeding and occasionally death.

I'm talking about regular old stuff.

There's always a caution. Even on dollies. "Not for us by children under the age of eight." (By which time, most people are about to outgrow dollies). Was anyone ever done in by a Barbie? (I'm going feel pretty darned guilty if someone has.)

Salt shakers have warnings.

Lip balm should not be injested.

I think this leaves...wooden spoons.

Jackie Mitchard